Sometimes it just isn't fair............

Okay.........time to bang the highchair (as my husband would say)!

I get all excited and nervous about moving my family to Germany and here I am........still in the US. Guess where the husband is for 3 weeks? Germany!!!! Just not fair!
I'm sure he's busy and doesn't have much time for sight seeing and such and he sure sounded tired today......(Get some sleep Honey if you are reading this). But he's not here, taking out the trash, fixing the meals and washing the dishes, washing the clothes, putting away the clothes, cutting the grass (it is Spring), taking the kids to activities and to and from school, and all the other million things that go on in everyday life here.......Oh wait a minute, most of those things I do anyway. Just a few of "the man" jobs are now my job while "the man" is away. Can you guess which ones?
So while my husband is dining out for every meal, sending his clothes to the drycleaners to be washed, walking around Frankfurt Germany or where ever his travels may take him........I only can hope that he is wishing we were there to share in the moment with him. Missing the sounds of 3 young children arguing over who's going to take their shower first, whinning because they don't want to go to bed at 9pm, and don't forget the mysterous silence when they are out of sight which when found they have managed to ransack a room and cause total distruction! I couldn't imagine not seeing them running around me asking me a million questions. I would feel lonely.

So while my husband is out being a worldly traveler, I guess it is me who is the lucky one after all.
I get to gaze at the angelic faces of the kids while they sleep (of course they take turns camping out in my bed while dad is gone) and it is me who gets all the hugs and kisses, and it is me who gets to go to Philadelphia for a day of adventure with the kids! I am the lucky one...........I am blessed. I mean that, no sarcasim. I am blessed with 3 happy, healthy children and a husband in Germany missing us.
But that eating out and laundry service sure does sound nice............. Love you honey!!! Come home safely.

Thank You......

Everyone who has been supportive and understanding during this crazy time. There are many family members and friends that are so happy to not see us go and for those who wish we were gone.........oh well!!!

I must admit that I have mixed feelings. I've come to appreciate all that I have here a little more. A wonderful home, my family, and the convience of living in an English speaking country with everything I need (and then some).

Who knows if I will ever get to travel abroad? Right now it is not financially possible. Luckily for my husband he will be able to go to Germany on business and will be leaving soon for 3 weeks. Not a fun situation for me......but good for his career and that helps the family.

Right now the kids are celebrating Spring Break, but the weather is nothing like Spring. Cold and damp. I was looking forward to doing some gardening this week with the kids, but instead my flowers are sitting in the kitchen because it was getting so cold there was frost. No early Spring planting this year.

Well wish me luck........I have applied and interviewed for a part-time job. Should hear something after the Spring Break. I'm looking forward to working in the educational field. For several reasons........Most important, is the scheduling is perfect when trying to be a full-time Mom; second, most of experience for the last 10 years has been volunteer work and substitute teaching in the classroom setting; and finally, the kids will all be in school full time this September and that extra time for me can add up to extra spending money!!!!

The other thing I'm working on is starting up my own Creative Memories business. In case you don't know, Creative Memories is the Company that helps you capture life's little (and big) stories so they can be enjoyed time and time again. It's Scrapbooking!!!! Feel free to contact me if you're interested.........there will be more in my blogs about my business.
www.mycmsite.com/christinacox

Well I need to get going...... motherly duty calls!!

No news was not good news..........

I apologize for my lack of blogging as of late.
Things have been very busy. Some days were mundane, to say the least, and some brought new experiences and revelations.

Well here goes the bad news........ We are no longer moving to Germany. We have choosen not to be in the waiting game any longer. The stress level was too high here. This was a very hard decision for us. Not done very easily. We've put a lot of time, work, and emotion into the idea and notion that we would be moving our family to Stuttgart come July this year. Now that is no longer an option.
It required a whole new train of thought to get use to the idea of moving and now I must retrain my thoughts to the idea that I am not moving. Easier said than done.
Goals were short and simple when thinking of moving. It was simple to just say purge out the things you can't take or don't want and not sign up for things that would conflict with the moving process. Now I don't have to get rid of things like foam stickers or my fishtank and Now I have to plan for summer vacation here. As much as I'd love to take the kids to Germany, we can't afford to fly a family of 5 there. It was much simplier when the employers paid for it :)

The good news, I don't have to learn German :) ha,ha,ha. I don't have to find homes for my fish and our gerbils!!! My Mom is extremely happy!! I can crop with my gal pals all I want.

So it's back to where we started. Our 11th Anniversary is coming up this Wed. I surprised the H. with a romantic get away a couple of weeks ahead of schedule because we needed it.
We had a great weekend with the kids at the circus not too long ago. We had seats really close up.....what a great time we had.

I plan to stay in touch with my blogging friends in Germany. I hope to visit there soon. If all goes well my husband will be going to Frankfurt in May for business and I will join him for a week.

Bye for now..............

Take time to smell the roses.......

Or a carnation in this case.

Just a pretty picture and a pretty thought. Reminding us to slow down and enjoy life.

Children get enjoyment from such simple things.

We can too!!!

Just an update and a few silly questions.......

For those of you who may be interested, I guess this will just be a blog to catch people up with my boring little life :)

Girls night out was a blast. We ate at Panera bread.....sandwiches, salads, soups and sweets and coffee/tea are always nice when shared with friends. We stayed until they closed and Dawn even got bread for free that they were going to throw out to make way for the fresh bread baked the next morning. We were too late to get the Asagio Cheese bread....it already hit the garbage can. Maybe next time :)
The time always go by fast when you're chatting with your gal pals.
We saw the movie Music and Lyrics and I must say that Hugh Grant looks very smashing in his tight pants :) The movie was perfect for our age group.......we are a product of the 80's (he,he,he). It was easy to picture yourself as the "groupie"!!!
We tried to get an attendant to take our picture, but they tried twice with no success.....therefore there is no picture to post.
Maybe this Sat. we'll have better luck taking pictures at our crop/movie night at Dawn's. We convienced her to have a movie and treats after the crop........Lake House!!! Looks like a good chick flick:)
What am I ever going to do in Germany?

Well we managed to get the basement spray painted. It's so white and bright. I'm going to try to paint in the bathroom down there once my son goes to school. Wish me luck. This is going to take a few days because I move pretty slow.
We're hoping to get carpet installed this week, hopefully by Wed. so we can play down there when our friends come over Thursday to play!!!!!
My Gal Pal Kim had her birthday this past Sat.......in case you're reading this Happy Birthday again!!!!! Can't wait to see you Thursday.........you get to come play at my house for a change:) Of course I'll be missing the home improvement shows at your house, no cable TV here.

The weekend was busy as usual........painting, gymnastics, soccer, and we went bowling Sunday. Duckpin. The kids had a blast. They were really getting the hang of it by the end. I wonder if they have duckpin bowling in Germany?

Here's some questions for all my blogger friends that live in Germany.........
Are there movie theaters with English speaking films or subtitles?
Are there places like bowling alleys and billards there?
What are the entertainment places around Stuttgart? For Children or Adults? I know there is the Wilheim Zoo near there.

Time to go finish getting my little guy ready for school.
Hope I wasn't too boring!

Looking forward to Friday!

Friday is Girls Night Out!!!!
I'm so excited. Dinner and conversation at the Panera Bread and a movie, with my 2 best gal pals. I can't wait.
I'm leaving the husband home with the 3 kids!!!
I'm going to miss my friends here so much. I know that I can keep in touch through e-mail and visits home (can't afford many of those, hopefully they'll come visit me:), but it's just not the same as being here . Not so spontaneous and personal.
There's lots of the "I'm going to miss you so much" thing going on right now.
It makes me very sad and I'm starting to realize how much I'm giving up here to go live in Germany for a few years. I'm going to miss them too!!!! It's nice to know that people care so much for me and value my friendship so much.
I know that Germany will be a great experience. How many people get this kind of opportunity? Or even take it if given the chance? It's just hard to say goodbye to what's familiar and secure to go to the unknown and foreign. (really foreign:)
I could go on and on about what I'm giving up and what I'll be gaining. But I won't bore anyone with all of that. Fact is, I want to go and I'm going. It's not easy, in fact it's very stressful and scary. But along with that is an excitement about seeing something new, experiencing something new, learning something new. It's my choice to do this with an open mind, ready to take this on or sit and be sad about it and what I'm leaving behind. I choose to be open to the new experience.
Trust me, after last year......nothing could compare to that stress and anxiety. This is a breeze. I'm fairly laid back about it all..........the only thing that bothers me is the waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
We are very impatient in America.......it's the gotta have it now syndrome. Things are so easy to get that we don't have patience anymore. I hear it's much more laid back in Germany, so I'm looking forward to that. It's very fast paced here, and I live in Suburbia/border line city.
Well there's just too much to do today.......
Playdate at the library, Volunteer work at the school, and carpet man coming for an estimate later on tonight.
Basement walls are up. Spray painting this weekend, carpet next week. We should be moving stuff back in there and out of our garage by next weekend. I can't wait. I promise to take lots of pictures. The kids are already planning sleepovers in the new family room :)

Routine, Lies and Manners......all rolled up into one.

Okay, things are kind of routine here. Kids having sleepovers with their friends, gymnastics, soccer games, family outings on Sundays, and house work/projects that never end :)
It's all good!!!

We are coming to our final week before we hit the 120 day mark. That would be 120 days before our arrival day of July 1st in Germany. Of course our arrival date could change, we don't have our final departure papers. Even worse, they could tell us we're not going at all. I guess that's still a chance. We've done everything required of us at this point. Now it's just a waiting game. Once (or if) we get our final departure papers we'll be able to really get moving. We'll have passports to get (husband already has his), make arrangements for the movers and our car, change our health insurance and bank.

Okay, what a difference a day can make. Things are no longer "routine" or normal here.
I'm dealing with an issue of trust and lying. There are big lies and little lies, but when does a little lie become the last straw? How can you continue to trust someone who has told one too many little lies? I begin to wonder how many other lies there are that haven't been caught yet.

On another note, we know a German family here, we've been friendly with them. Had their daughter over for playdates, had dinner at their house, exchanged gifts, went out here and there, had long conversations........but lately things have changed. I've always sensed an air of arrogance and I can never tell if they are joking or serious. I just chalked it up to the German view of life. But rude is rude no matter what your nationality. When someone you know walks away and can't even say "bye", that's just plain rude.
I know Americans like this.......it's like they live in their own little world where everything they do is perfect and you are just someone who when needed or convient they will acknowledge or contact. Otherwise, your existence is unimportant because they are self-centered and arrogant.
I hear people talking on blogs about German arrogance. I think I will go crazy there if this is the norm. What's wrong with being polite, even if it's "fake" it's called MANNERS. Hasn't anyone taught the German's manners? Not from the experience I had yesterday. I'm hoping this is not true of all Germans as it is not true of all American's (but is becoming more true than not lately).
I'm not looking to become their best friend or even good friend.......I just wanted to be friendly and have the same courtisy given to me.
Am I missing something here?
It could be that she was just in such a hurry that she just ran off and not thinking of anyone or anything else other than herself and her situation that she forgot to say Goodbye.....or give a smile or a wave. It's sad when the norm anymore is to just be so caught up in ourselves and our own issues that we can't even be polite to others. We have become a sad, sad world full of self righteous individuals that feel they do no wrong, that they are the center of the universe, and that friendships, politness, manners and what not just don't matter anymore. It's a dog eat dog world out there. Everyone is out for themselves.
The worse part is that this is now becoming the norm and my children will have to live in a world like this. I hope they can find a few good people in their lives that are the exception to this, as thankfully I have. What will I ever do in Germany without them? Thank God for computers to e-mail them, airplanes to visit them, and telephones to call them and hear their voices and kindness and Geniune Friendship and love.

Where did the day go?

Another busy day. No time to feel stressed or anxious. :) That's a good thing.

Tomorrow is looking like another busy day and night.

The basement is coming along well. I can see an end in the forseeable future. Hip,hip, hooray!!!

Walls are up, just need to finish mudding and sanding......then everything gets a fresh coat of white paint. Lot's of painting. I'll have to send some pictures.

Yesterday we celebrated Eric's birthday!! The kids baked him a cake and decorated it and then they made him a birthday banner. They make birthdays fun even when you're turning 39, oops did I give it away. Sorry honey. He,he,he.

I can't think of anything special going on. Just the usual stuff.

It's all good.

Strange Day......

Just like in the pictue......my life just seems so upside down and unfamiliar. But at least I'm happy upside down and Eric is with me and the kids are off playing somewhere in the background.

Do you ever have one of those days where you wonder..."What the hell am I doing?"
Well today has been one of those days.
It started last night. I was thinking how much I really love our home here, how safe I feel here, how we have everything we need and then some, how close my family is to our home, how I just spent Sat. with the gals scrapbooking and having a great time, how much work we've put into the house and almost all our home improvements are finished. So why am I moving to Germany?

Maybe it's hormones? (I'm having a surge of them right now:) Maybe it's just that I'm starting to feel the stress of so much to do and so little time? Maybe it's the fact that we still haven't gotten "the final" paper that tells us when and if we are going. We're just assuming that we leave July 1st!!! Maybe it's because we didn't sell the camper and that it is still lingering in the driveway, maybe it's because I think of strangers renting our house and destroying it.

Of course these things may or may not happen. Logically, there is no reason why we shouldn't get the A OKAY to go, there is plenty of time to sell the camper and the spring is prime selling time for RV's, and not all renters destroy and we will have property managers looking after our home.
Life doesn't guarantee us anything. We should live our lives with no regrets.

I was just listening to a Big and Rich song called "Live this Life."
"I'll live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore. Then I will walk with patience through that open door. I have no fears, angels follow me no matter where I go."

Beautiful Song!!!!!

If I look back on where I was a year ago today I would say my life was completely different. I was headed down a road of pain and awakening. Things have definitely changed. That's not to say that everything is picture perfect. Everyone can stand some improvement now and then :) It's just to say that I'm more aware of myself and what role I play and the role I play in the lives of others. I guess it's where this whole life is too short thing came about in my own life. Does everyone experience an instance whithin their lives that changes them? That makes them come to realize that we are here but only for a short time and to live our lives with gusto, with integrity, with purpose? To work through are fears, to work towards a goal, to not forget to have some fun, to stop and smell the flowers or bask in the sun occasionally?

Ah, today is one of those days where I just feel like, "What the hell am I doing?"
What are you doing?

Goodbye Camper......maybe?

I'm trying to keep up with my blogging. But truthfully I'm not feeling so well. So hopefully I can keep this short and sweet.

Big news.......we have a family coming to look at our camper today. They are coming from New Jersey. It will be so nice if they buy it. One less thing for me to be concerned about before we leave for Germany.

There are a lot of mixed emotions concerning our camper. We have so many fond memories of trips taken with it. We all love camping the adventures we have. We're hoping we can camp in and around Germany when we move there. ????

So we are sad to say goodbye, but know that in order to move forward to our new home and new adventure we must do so. We hope that whomever buys it enjoys it as much as we have.

Some fond memories:

1. Driving to Niagra Falls Canada.....what a sight of beauty. Stay on the Canadian Side if you can and go for at least 2 weeks because there is so much to see and do.

2. Solomons Island and hiking to Calvert Cliffs to find fossils, the calvert museum, lighthouses, swimming and bike riding.

3. Ocean City, MD....building sand castles on the beach and waiting for the waves; boardwalk rides, Assateque and the horses, Frontier Park water rides and Western Park.

4. Hershey Park in the Dark........every October. Rides, Rides, and more Rides, getting dressed up for Trick or treating, decorating the camper, and Zoo America. We love your Chocolate!!!!

There have been many more trips, but these are just some of the highlights that stick out in my head.

I'm ready to make more memories and take new trips throughout Europe!! So, Goodbye Camper, enjoy your new family and the many more new memories you will create with them.

Maybe I'm jumping the gun, because they haven't bought it yet, but I'm ready to say goodbye. I'm ready to move on from this and be done with it. It was the biggest ticket item we had to unload since we decided to rent the house. Of course getting the house ready and rented is the next big thing to do. How much time do I have? Not enough I'm sure.

Things always have a way of working out, so I'm not worried. Check back in see what I'm saying in June when the real count down begins.

NEWS UPDATE: I guess I was way off track, they came, they saw, but they didn't buy. They said they had to talk it over and had one more camper to see. They didn't have anything negative to say and said it was a nice camper and well taken care of, which it is. We love our camper!!! Well you never know and camping season has yet to begin, so there is plenty of time to market and sell. I was surprise that anyone even answered our ad this early in the game and season.

What I want to do while in Germany.....

Snow at Last!!! as seen through our kitchen window at the backyard. 2,13,07

I was sitting here re-reading my intial idea of why I wanted to blog. I want to stay connected in the process of remembering who I am and what I want from life. It is so easy getting caught up in pleasing others and taking care of a family that you loose yourself.

It's about 4 1/2 months until we move to Germany. I think family and friends question whether or not I truly want to move there. I get the impression that people think that my husband is dragging me and the kids there. Not true.
Believe it or not, Eric and I have talked about moving to Germany for a very long time. It is a mutal decision. One that was discussed and thought over for a very long period of time. We've even included the children in on the decision making. What's the saying, "Nothing good comes easily, you have to fight and struggle for it."?
I'm looking forward to many rewards, and I'm sure there will be many moments when I'm feeling like I made a huge mistake.....that will be my battle. I strongly believe that no matter what, at least I can say I did it. I ventured out of my comfort zone, took a chance, and experienced it.
I think this will help teach my children that there is so much that the "world" has to offer, to take some risks.

Some things I'm looking forward to:
1. Traveling around Europe.
2. Long walks alone through parks and to markets.
3. German Carnivals/Festivals
4. Delicious Food
5. Learning to speak German (this is also my biggest fear to overcome)
6. Swim bads
7. getting around on buses and trains.

That's all I can think of right now. As much as I try to gather information and get an idea of what to expect, truth is I don't know what to expect. There are moments when I think what am I doing? I must be crazy! Moments when I want to just go right now, but overall I think I'm pretty laid back about the whole thing. It will be interesting to see what I'm blogging about when I'm actually there in 5 months :)

Funny thing, this blog is actually several days of stop and go drafting. I start to write and then something pulls me away. Usually the kids :) Well today everyone is home because of the ice storm. It started out as a beautiful snow and now it's just ice. But we are enjoying playing around the house. Maybe I'll get something constructive done or maybe not. :) Probably not!

Home construction update: It's almost finished...at least on the contractors end. They would have been finished today if life hadn't come to a complete halt because of the "ICE". I have a feeling that in Germany life doesn't come to a halt because of snow or ice. Is this true?

The bathroom downstairs is fully functional, the ceiling is up, doors are in place, the kitchen countertop is in and looks great. They are finishing up the trim and then they need to clean up. What a mess. Next will come our part. We are going to put up the walls and paint. We also need to figure out what we are going to do about the laminate back splash that is still haunting us behind our new countertops. Maybe I'll experiment today with that one. We're thinking of lightly sanding it, put a primer on it and then putting paint overtop and sealing it. I think it sounds more complicated than it is. If all fails, then we go buy something like mirrors or coark to glue overtop it. Does anyone have any ideas?

I'm not even sure you can see the backsplash with the toaster, bannanas, coffee maker, radio and can opener in the way.....wow that's a lot of stuff. :)

Update: The construction workers made it!!!!! I'm impressed. Life hasn't come to a halt. :)

Now it's time for me to get off of here and get moving.

My knight in shinning armor..........

My last post was very long winded. I will keep this one short :)

Things are pretty much the same here.

Construction is still going on and taking longer than expected........that's no surprise!

Still no snow....we were teased yesterday for about a half hour until it just stopped. I could really use a snow day. It would be nice to just go out and play in the snow with the kids. Go sleighing, build a snowman, make some snow angels. Where is the snow?

The house is a complete wreck and I've decided to ignore it, but it's not working out as well as I planned. I will have to do something today!!!

I've made contact with Rob who is living in Stuttgart. You can check out his blog lifeinstuttgart.blogspot.com. He posts the most beautiful and inspiring pictures. Very talented.

Thanks Rob for answering some of my questions.....or should I say, addressing some of my concerns.

The more people I talk to and meet from Germany, the more confident I become.

I'm up to the challenge and I'm actually looking forward to the adventure. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but I've always wanted to go to Europe. This is my chance.

After talking to Rob, I'm thinking of trying to get by without a car for awhile. If the buses and trains are as good as he says, I should be able to pull it off. He's gone 3 yrs without one.

That will be a first for me. I've had a car since I was 16. Here in the states you have to have a car if you want to go anywhere. They have buses here but they are far from reliable.

They say life in Germany is at a much slower pace than here. It will be nice to slow down a little. I'm looking forward to long walks, going to the town markets/stores, quiet Sundays (no shopping, stores are closed), sight seeing, learning German, and spagetti ice.

So who's my Knight in shinning armor? Why it's Ethan of course!!!! I'm really enjoying the time the two of us have together every morning before he goes to school. He's growing up so fast. I need to see if kindergarden is half days or whole days in Germany.....wouldn't it be great if they were just half days!!!!!

Germany bound.......

Forgive me, its been awhile since I've blogged. It's incredible how much life changes and evolves in just a short time. It's the rollercoaster effect. I'm working on enjoying the ride instead of trying to change it all the time or focusing in on the parts that I don't enjoy. It's amazing how much more you can enjoy your life when you're not wasting your time worrying about things you have no control over. Release it. Go take a walk, read a book, do something enjoyable instead.

Well we made it through the Holidays :) Lots of LOVE, lots of time to be with the people that mean so much to us. It went by too fast. I really enjoyed having that time with the kids. They spend so much of their time in school now, I miss them terribly. They are growing up so fast. This September will be the hardest for me because all three will be in school full time. I don't even want to think about it. That's a whole other blog :)

Well for the big news........WE ARE GOING TO GERMANY!!! not just for a week or so, but for 3 to 5 years. Stuttgart, Germany to be exact. Everyone is excited. We went into this process by talking to our children, discussing the benefits and negatives, what we all would get out of this journey/experience. In other words, we went in gungo ho with our eyes wide open. It was a long tedious adventure of waiting and even a let down as we thought that we did not get the job. But then as we decided to move on and make plans for our future here, the unthinkable happened.......we actually got the job and we are to move this July.

I think I was shocked!!! Then I was scared, because it all became "real"..... I would actually have to leave behind my family and friends after all. I speak English, they speak German. That kind of thing. Then there was/is all the construction going on in our house. Yes, construction. Remember, we had decided to move forward here. Staying here in our home meant more living space. So we signed a contract to have our basement finished into a family room with a full bathroom and new Corian countertops for our kitchen. They had just torn down the old bathroom when we got our news!

I love our home here. It's in a great location, we bought it before the big boom in real estate prices and we've upgraded, remodeled and worked hard on making it just perfect for our family. So you can only imagine the torment on what we should do......sell it or rent it.
We've weighed the pro's and con's and couldn't stand to part with it and the low mortgage.
I've met with a few property managers and I'm trying to weed through all the information involved with that. I hope this all is simplier than it sounds!!!

I have a full plate and right now it just seems unreal. There are moments when I'm excited, moments when I'm terrified, moments when the tension is high around here, moments when we are all anticipating and discussing what we think our new life in Germany may be like. There are moments when I am sad to say goodbye to my family and friends, but true to my inner self I know that if I didn't take this opportunity I would live a life of regret and always wonder what could have been. Life is taking the next step forward and not looking back. Time is fleeting. Well, you get the idea.

I'm not one to go into things blinded. I don't just leap and hope I land on my feet. I try to prepare (a little too much and that is something I'm working on). No one knows what tomorrow will bring. If we try to plan too far ahead we may miss the life we're living in right now.

I'm sure my bloggs will grow and change and my experiences in Germany will be rampant throughout. The computer and modern technology will play a big part in staying in touch with those we love and care about as we move so far away from home. Email, blogs, digital photos/scrapbooks and web cams just to name a few.

If anyone out there is living in Germany and has any helpful hints....please feel free to pass on the good advice.